What If????

What if???? This is a question I've been asking myself, God, and my Bride lately. I've been asking what if in our marriage this could happen or that could happen. What if we could be great at being married before another endeavor?? This question is an interesting question and it really makes me think of how great marriages could be if we would just start doing instead of being too busy or distracted or making excuses.

A Revelation:

While I've been asking this question, God has been doing a great work in both Johnna and I in our marriage. I feel like the Holy Spirit put it on my heart. What if we stopped saying no to each other and rejecting each other?? What would this do to marriages??? The Holy Scripture puts it this way: In Proverbs 13:12 NIV it says "Hope differed makes the heart grow sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." This speaks to me that when you fulfill each other it can make your marriage and each other healthier.

Questions to ask each yourself this week:

I encourage you and your spouse this week to ask yourselves these questions and really pray, reflect or meditate on these and see what is put on your heart and how you can improve the quality of your marriage.

1. What if we stopped saying no to spending time together? Spending time together is a great way to really improve intimacy. When you are apart from each other or have separate careers, dreams and goals its very easy to become strangers or roommates. Date nights are a must, its so wonderful to reconnect after a crazy week of Kids, jobs, appointments and errands. Try at least once a month if not every other week.

2. What if we stopped being distracted by Social Media, TV, Movies, or even Fantasy Novels?? While these wonderful improvements and advances in technology can get us more connected, they can also detract from our most intimate relationships. I encourage you to put the tech aside and have a real conversation with each other before you jump on social media or turn on the game.

3. What if we touched each other more? Non sexual Touch is an amazing thing to increase intimacy in marriages. We have so many touch receptors all over our bodies that make us feel amazing and connected. There is nothing better than touching, massaging, or holding each other hands.

4. What if we went out of our way to encourage and uplift each other? The Bible in Proverbs 16:24 NIV says "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." That is so True, when you life up your spouse it is healing and sweet. When Johnna builds me up, its like a boost of confidence. But the reverse is also true. When you constantly nag, criticize or belittle each other, you can really hurt and destroy intimacy.

5. What if we extend grace and forgiveness? The bottom line, we all make mistakes! We want to be purposeful in trying not to repeat mistakes that our spouse has asked us not do, but we all are imperfect people. So whats the best thing we can do? See each other as God sees us. Holy and blameless. That means giving lots of Grace and forgiveness and not holding each other hostage from past mistakes. Let it go!

6. What if we had sex more?? I was given this question this week as well and it made me think deeply about the impact more sexual intimacy can have on marriage. I asked what if a married couple could have sex once a day, what would that do to their marriage?? I know that's tough in the crazy world we live in, but you could try a week, two weeks, a month, a couple months and see what it could do for your marriage when you intentionally seek intimacy together and make each other a priority.

That's our challenge for you this week: Go think and pray about it. What if we could have more in our marriage? There is a line in song by Andy Mineo, that says "I've got two choices, make moves or make excuses." That's really the choice. Do we make moves toward our Spouse? Or do we make excuses?